Through my marriage to Amanda, I have been blessed to have two incredible children come into my life. I write about nine year old Shaun regularly, because he is with us nearly every day now. I have the privilege of being a bonus dad to Shaun. A role I take very seriously.
Amanda also has a daughter, Milly. She will turn five this fall. At birth, Milly was placed with her parents, Rhonda and Jarad through an open adoption. I am Milly’s “Mista Kent.”
Watching Shaun and Milly play together brings all of us such incredible joy. The gratitude I feel at the opportunity to be in their lives goes beyond words. Despite their age difference, the concepts of humility and confidence are being actively taught, and more importantly, modeled at home for these two.
Milly recently was quoted as having said “I’m good at confidence !” It was a comment that made every smile. I love the confidence in that statement. After all, when we practice spiritual principles in life, confidence should come as a natural result. Besides, I know her mom and dad well enough to know that they help her express her confidence along with humility in a balanced way.
With Shaun, these concepts are still being developed as well. I don’t even remember the specific situation, but a few days ago the three of us were out shopping for back-to-school supplies. I had thought that I was right about a situation, and asserted myself with a bit too much confidence.
When it became apparent that I was wrong, I applied my tenth step to the situation, promptly admitting that I was wrong. I took it a step further by saying that Amanda had been right. She thanked me for acknowledging that I had been wrong and we moved on with our shopping.
Before long, it happened again. This time it was Shaun who was right. Again, I promptly admitted I was wrong and he was right. He definitely got a kick out of that one! His confidence was bolstered to the point of celebration. “Ha ha, I was right and Kent was wrong!”
Amanda saw the opportunity as a teachable moment, and quickly gave a lesson in humility. She shared the proper response to the situation, and his confident celebration was quickly replaced with humble gratitude.
As with all of the spiritual principles highlighted by the Narcotics Anonymous program, humility is important to practice, “in all my affairs.” It is vital to be able to admit when I am wrong. Just as vital though, is my ability to admit when someone else is right. Doing so builds confidence in the other person. It also builds trust in the relationship.
I am grateful for both the times that I am right and that I am wrong. When I’m right, I can model confidence without being obnoxious. When I am wrong, I can promptly admit it, making it easier for others to accept that I have faults. This balance in my life results in humility. Like Milly, I can become “good at confidence.”
Have a remarkable day!