Addiction, NA, Narcotics Anonymous, Recovery, Spiritual Principles, Twelve Steps

Love Works

For almost an hour I’ve been trying to figure out what to write about my spiritual principle of the day, love. Almost half an hour passed before I wrote anything. Then, I spent a half hour writing something that I just deleted. My words just seemed hollow. Inadequate for a topic that is so important.

So, I’m starting over.

Though it was a difficult choice to delete an almost completed message, I knew it was the right thing to do. I’m committed to writing with meaning. Writing something that I can look back on in a year, or two, or even twenty, and see where my heart was. The words I deleted didn’t qualify. So, I’ll invest a little more effort in getting it right.

The old saying “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right” comes to mind. Doing it “right” requires work.

Getting love right requires work. I was reminded of that fact yesterday. My work had taken me to a small town outside Fort Smith, AR. I finished up shortly before noon, and decided to hit a meeting before heading home. I was pleasantly surprised when I sat down to find that a friend of mine was sitting just across from me.

At first I didn’t recognize him. He smiled and extended his hand, so I introduced myself. He chuckled and said “yes Kent, it’s me.” We both laughed, exchanging a good hug, and then the meeting started.

While sharing, my friend spoke of Amanda and me as a couple. He spoke of the changes he had seen in us, and how we had navigated so many challenges to our relationship in such a short period of time. His words were very kind and definitely reflected his love for the two of us.

On my drive home I spent a good deal of time contemplating all that my friend had shared. I thought back over the past couple of years, and all that Amanda and I have been through.

In retrospect, I was able to see just how much work has gone into the past couple of years. The work that we have invested in building a strong loving relationship. The work we continue to invest.

Life is like that. Things worth having usually require work. Most of the time, that work is not seen by others. It reminds me of another cliche. “If it were easy, everyone would do it.”

Love isn’t easy. On the contrary, it is hard work. Seldom do outsiders appreciate the hard work involved in a healthy relationship. Maybe that’s why my friend’s words meant so much yesterday. He demonstrated an appreciation for the work Amanda and I have done.

The same holds true with recovery. Definitely worth having. Definitely not easy. Recovery requires a long-term commitment to hard work. A commitment to weathering storms. A commitment to seeking out a new way to live.

Yesterday was a reminder to me that I cannot take love or recovery for granted. I will continue investing in both regularly, knowing that the results will be worth it.

Have a remarkable day!


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